Sherlock Holmes Great War Parodies and Pastiches I by Bill Peschel

Author:Bill Peschel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: History
Publisher: Peschel Press
Published: 2017-11-22T16:00:00+00:00

“And how did you know she was ant suffrage?” asked the Thinking Machine.

“So many dinky frills on her petticoat, which I saw flippering about as she crossed the street.”

“And that she was parsim—”

But Lecoq’s rude speech was stayed by Raffles, who clapped his hands over the speaker’s mouth.

“Oh, fiddle strings!” cried Holmes. “If she had on such extravagant lingerie, she could afford a taxi, and as she didn’t have one she—she was—walking for her health,” he concluded, as the lady stared straight at him.

“My name is Mrs. Plummer,” she began, “Mrs. Ezra J. Plummer. But I suppose, Sir, you would have known that too, if I hadn’t told you.”

“Of course,” responded Holmes carelessly. “Go on.”

“Well, I’ve lived alone ever since Ezra died, nineteen years come next June, and I’ve kept my house and home just as it always was. I ain’t great for changing my furniture with every whip-around of the fashion. The plush chairs in my parlor are just as good now as the day we bought ’em; two of ’em red and three green and the sofa red. Black ebony frames, they have, picked out with gilt, and a neater parlor suit ain’t to be found.”

“Charming set of furniture,” said Raffles politely.

“Tasty idea that, of red and green alternating. And you’ve lost those chairs, Madam?”

“No, Sir, burglars don’t take chairs. What I’ve lost is a work of art, the chief ornament of my parlor, my choicest possession. A treasure, indeed!” Mrs. Plummer broke down completely and began to cry.

The four French gentlemen, being of sympathetic and emotional dispositions, wept also. The Thinking Machine wriggled uneasily in his chair.

President Holmes gazed out of the window with neatly folded arms. “A work of art!” he hissed. “Ha, a parallel case to the Mona Lisa! What was it, Madam, a picture, a statue?”

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